Okay...this is my kind of humor

I am getting ready to teach My Sister's Keeper, so I am doing a slide show on IVF and a brief explaination of it. I say brief, because face it, I could really talk for a whole period if I wanted to. Anyway, since one of the characters is an IVF baby, I think it is important for them to understand it, and genetically picked babies. As I was pulling images for my show, I ran across this:

And BOOM!!!

It all comes out. At some point everything that I have bottled up will come out. I never know how or when, but it will come out. I guess part of it came out tonight, and now I am grounded to my room and Derrick is pissed at me. Well, for him, I am pissed too and have been. I am not a door mat. Tonight it just came out at the wrong person. I yelled at a friend and didn't mean to, he just got caught in the crossfire and got on the wrong end of my temper and my fuse was no existent at that point. Which it hard because I have an incredibly long fuse. But over that last 8 months, it has been slowly dwindling and now it is gone. I am not a nice person right now, to anyone. It sucks and I hate myself. What scares me the most is that I know there is more in there that needs to come out, but I can't let it. I have no safe outlet for it to come out. That feeling is so lonely. I can't really tell Derrick everything that is on my mind, because he doesn't understand. Or he tells me that is my job and to deal with it.

Then he gets pissed when I tell him that I feel like I have to compete with his friends for his attention. Because he thinks it is all about his work. He forgets that we need him here too. I love my family more than anything. I am just tired. I feel like a single parent more often than not and it sucks. That is not at all what I wanted.

Now I can hear my son crying for me and I know that if I go out there we are going to get in another fight. We already had a big one in front of the kids tonight. I have already cried in front of my kids tonight. Not something that I am proud of and not something that I like doing. It sucks. I am pretty sure that he will be sleeping in the guest room or on the couch. He basically told me that he wants nothing to do with me tonight. Hmmm....great. How long is this going to last? That man holds grudges against me forever. Not his friends, but me. I will hear about this for years. Watch. This is going to fucking suck. More than it already does.

Enough is enough...

And I think I have reached my enough point. We are at a turning point with the stupid lawsuit and I am to the point that I can't handle it anymore. I am tired. I have done everything I can and it looks like we are going to have to settle. FML... Stupid fucking asshole is going to get money simply because...fuck him. I am pissed and I have every right to be. I hope he goes back to jail and misses the birth of his kid. Why can that fucker have kids and it is so easy for a piece of shit to fuck over hardworking people? I am sick of it...if you don't want to work fuck you. Get off your fat lazy ass and get a fucking job. You are a truck driver, you don't have to haul cattle or grain, haul a van and you can sit and do little. At least you are working. Maybe my retribution for all of this is that we settle and the fucker goes back to jail and some guy named Bubba makes him his bitch. I can hope karma works that way. All said and done we are going to pay out about $45000. Which is better than it could be. I have to keep that positive idea going for talking to Derrick. We settle and get off now, with no future anything or we are stuck with the fuckers medical bills forever. NO! This is what I want to know, why did our first attorney not propose a settlement when we asked him to in December. This could have been minimized if he had. I like our guy now and he is on vacation and still working on this. Thanks to him.

My rant is over...I just had to get that all out before Derrick gets here and I have to be the rational one...yikes!