AWwwwww how sweet!

I have a student that is pretty smart. She figured out things in a real hurry, which is fine cause I love the kid. We are doing persuasive speech in my advanced class, how cute it this, she decided to do IVF. Of course there were lots of questions and lots of research, and some crude pictures drawn by me. Hey I never claimed to be an artist. It is so cute. I want to squeeze her. After all of her research she has decided that those that are against it are dumb. That is my cute story for the morning.

I am doing everything possible to keep myself from POAS. This is the only time I have ever been PG, even if it is PUPO. So I am going to cherish it. That is my outlook. Even DH is acting that way. The boobs thing he is loving. He tells me everyday that they are getting bigger, they really aren't that much. Just enough that my bra is tight. I don't want them to grow!!!! Just my belly. My best friends baby shower is this weekend, so I have a ton to do Friday when I get to my moms until Saturday evening. I am making pasta salad, veggie trays, fruit trays, and cut out sugar cookies. I cannot find a stupid airplane cookie cutter anywhere. I went on a hunt. No one has them. They are having a boy and his room is planes, trains, and autos. I have the last two, but oh well. I bet she doesn't notice. I really wanted to put a note in the basket I made that she was gonna be an auntie, but she will have to wait. I am going to make Derrick take me to mexican night at the bar tonight....mmmm beans for more gas. I can say the PIO is making me stink, and I can't even blame the cat. She even runs away!!!! LOL!!!

I had to go in the backdoor!!!

But I got it done!! I am here 2 days past 5dt. I am not so patiently waiting for Monday. It will be the best day of my life. I have also decided that (after reading Wendy's blog) I have to let some things go. So I am going to. I have several people that I just can't be around. Here though I can be me. The crazy, stubborn, pain in the ass that I am. I am ready to move beyond certain things. It is time. I did all of my crying before transfer about my cousin and her twins. So I hope they make it somehow. I am just going to avoid my family other than my immediate family completely. They are insane and I can't be around that. I am back at work. I have bunches to do, so this is short and sweet. I am PUPO and I love it. I have never ever felt like this. We transfered on perfect embie into a perfect lining. Derrick got to see it. I had already assumed the "position". The whole thing was easy, like a pap smear. I will know on Monday.

More Pics

Main Bathroom

Master Bathroom, and of course the nosy cat.

Pictures

Tomorrow is the day. We have to be there at 8:30 and embies get put in about 9:30. Seriously, I never thought I would get this far. I am so excited. Derrick told me yesterday that he is tired of everyone asking questions. I do remember saying that I didn't want to be asked questions. We live in a super small town of about 200 people, so everyone is all up in everyone else's business. This is the one thing that I do not need people asking about. I am not going to feel pg, BECAUSE I DON"T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE! I want to tell them that to fuck off. I know that we have a lot of friends, but still I feel like I need to keep this to myself for a while. There are people asking if I am pregnant yet, and no transfer has been done! There are particular people that are asking that have no fucking business making inquiry into my life. They are low life pieces of shit and I want them to leave me the hell alone. I just want to get through the rest of the school year then everyone can know what is going on. Derrick can't keep his big damn mouth shut and that is why we have this problem. He tells everyone everything. Now he is annoyed and it serves him right.

On to fun....here are pictures of the house!!!

All of this stuff is making me icky...

My body is rejecting everything that is going into it. I reacted bad to my antibiotic. So I get to add one more to the list. GRRRR. Still itchy. the prometrium is pretty friggin gross, but better than another shot. I might opt for the shot here soon though. I have heartburn something fierce and cannot figure out why. On the up side, I rode to Dodge with Derrick last night to take a load of cattle. It was pretty cool. It was the strangest feeling sitting in the truck when they were loading them, so I got out and watched. Then everytime you stop or go around a corner they move and it is so WIERD!!!!! It was pretty neat. I have ridden a lot over the years and this was by far the most interesting. Grain and hay is pretty routine. Other than the fact that in the truck Derrick was driving the passenger seat SUCKED EGGS. No air ride, no recline, sucked. I don't have an air ride in our truck, but at least it reclines. The W9 he drove when we first met had an air ride. I slept most of the way to and from Dodge. I forgot how good you sleep ina truck. The vibration just rocks you to sleep. I loved it. I kinda miss it. I am headed back to Denver tonight. My dad has to come and get me, cause my car is at their house. Derrick is coming out on Friday with a friend, so we can drive my car home after ET. I am ready for that man. Other than that there is not a whole lot going on. Sleepy and my tummy is icky.

Holy Embies!!!!

The RE called and I had 27 mature eggs and with ICSI 23 of them fetilized. So now we wait and see how many make it to day five and they will be graded on day 3. I am so happy.

On the other hand, I just got an email from an old roommate in college. BTW, I seriously dislike this woman. She said some pretty nasty lies about me and stole stuff, clothes, but still. So she wants to get together and catch up. UMMM HELL NO!! I choose to surround myself with those that are supportive of me and who I am, not someone or people that have no clue who I am or what is important to me. I do not need that in my life. Derrick thinks I should be nice. i told him that I was just not going to email her back. I emailed my friend that she got my addy from. I am not mad at her by any means, I am just not going to talk to this other woman. Ang should know that there are things that I just can't get over. That and this girl started talking about her son. UMMMM no don't even go there with me. I am not bitter, but no one is going to rub in the fact that they have kids and I don't. Let alone someone like that. I have not talked to her in 6 years and I don't plan on starting now. I have the most supportive girlfriends in the world both in cyberspace and at home. I don't need toxic ones. That is all she ever was, a freeloader and toxic.

Derrick is moooving cows today. I wish I could ride with him. I love to ride. I feel a little icky anyway, so I want to go home. I am going to make something yummy for dinner. I am thinking chicken fried steak. MMMMMMMMM......I am also on a laundry mission. We have a TON...I guess DH can't figure out how to use the washer and dryer. He finally figured out the dishwasher, so I should be happy about that. 30 minutes to home!!!

All 28 of those little buggers are out!!!

Holy eggies! There was a whole bunch of those little guys. Derrick sperm were good too. So now we wait on the fert report. I had a long discussion with him about his buttfacedness. He said he was sorry, he just wasn't sure how to deal with all of this and he feels like all I need him for is sperm and to give me a shot. I understand that. I also told him that I was not going to deal with stupid people around here asking me stupid questions and being nosy. They can mind their own damn business. I can overreact like a champ sometimes and I think that everything pile dup and out it came. But he assured me that he was sorry and that his friends were not more important than me and our family. I feel better, just crampy. Kinda like AF cramps and like I have gas...you could poke a pin in me and I would fly away! I am in a good mood, just sleepy and a little crampy!

Is it time yet?

WARNING>>>>I AM VERY CRABBY!!!

Moving on, I have every right to be. I feel icky, my back hurts, I feel like I have marshmellows in my pelvis, and Derrick is being a big fat pain in my ASS! I am pretty sure that he is the one having PMS and pregnancy related mood swings, not me. I am now because he is being such a prick. He has to be here in the morning for ER. He tell me this morning that he wants to come up and go out to dinner tonight. Pretty sure that it is 5:00 at home and he hasn't even left yet. So by the time he gets to my mom's it will be about 9:30 local time. There goes dinner. We have to leave here about 6:15 to get there on time through rush hour. NOt only that he will just be an enormous jerk about the whole thing. I am not doing this whole process for fun. It has kinda sucked for me, and he just thinks that I am just being neurotic about it. PRetty sure that if he was getting poked 3-4 times a day and probed with the "wand" he would be way grumpier than I have thought of being. But since the whole world revolves around him and his moronic friends, why have any concern for what your wife is doing or might be feeling. That would make him "pussy whipped" according to the great friends. Seriously, I might just give them a piece of my mind here in the near future. Until I left for the everyday wand poking, he was being great. All of the sudden he feels like an outsider and becomes a huge jackass. I do not need to be stressed out right now. Then I called to see where he was and how he was getting along, and he told me that "I don't have to explain myself to you." UMMMM YES YOU FUCKING DO. I don't have a clue what happened last night or what in the hell is going on there, but if someone is fucking with my marriage, there will be hell to pay. I did not get married to get divorced because some chick thinks she is smooth and makes a move. I am a little girl with a huge nasty temper. That is all there is to it. I know who hates me and I know that there will be no way that she even has a chance next to me. I refuse to be one of those women that complain and are totally shitty when they are pregnant. I also refuse to be the whenever I feel like it wife. He better get his ass on the road in a hurry. We can stop in Dever after ER tomorrow and eat with our friends. I need some fucking support and now.

That is all of that. On the other side, I am ready for this to be done. I want to go home and put my new stuff in my bedroom and master bathroom. I miss my cat and my house. I don't like being apart for this long because of the strain that it puts on both of us. Usually he is ready to see me when I have been gone for this long, but this time there are all of these people telling him how terrible it was when their wife's we pg, well not to be a bitch , but most of them were accidents and not wanted. SO PRETTY SURE I WANT THIS BAD!!! Stop listenting to your stupid ass friends. K I am really done now. Sorry, just had to get that out before I started a fight.

Trigger tonight ER on Monday!

Really I know that my little bod could not handle a whole lot more. I have 20 or so follies that are at least 2 cm big. My ovaries are very large. My mom got me a facial today and it was awesome. I needed to relax. Then my nurse called. So now I am trying to figure out when Derrick is going to get here and how we are going to get my car home and how we are going to get me home after ET. I don't know why men do this, or maybe it is just my husband, but he gets all bent out of shape about everything. He has to be here for certain things. That is all there is to it. We have to be there at 8:00 Monday morning for ER. Well I would like him to come up tomorrow afternoon and go eat with my parents and stuff. He is just not sure. Tonight he went out with friends. So I know that his swimmers are already there or whatever, but I need him to be a little bit responsible. He is also not sure if he is going to come out later this week. I am not doing this by myself. I am going through hell and he has not a single clue. Usually he is really supportive, but for some reason he has it in his head that we really didn't have to do it this way. I want to punch him. So my car is going to be at my parents house and I am going to be in Kansas. I guess he can bring me back, but that still does not solve the problem of the car. I guess that on Thursday my dad could meet us and get both of us and if they don't transfer on day 3 than it will not kill us to stay here for a night or two. I would have gone home tonight, but I have to have bloodwork in the morning. He is cranky and doesn't want me to get all "bitchy and stuff" when I am pregnant. Pretty sure that if I am alright with all of the shit that is in my system now, I will be good. My little body is jacked up on all kinds of crap, so whatever. He has all of his friends telling him how bad their wife's were when they were pg, but there is one thing here that they don't get. I will be so happy that I am finally knocked up, I won't give a shit about anything else. This is not some fly by the seat of my pants oops. This is planned to the minute. I think he is just freaking out about everything. Whatever. I am fine and I am the one going through hell. I could really use just a little support right now. That would be fantastic.

Giagumbus ovaries!!!

SO until now I haven't felt a whole lot other than a little bloated. OMG my ovaries are giant. Even if they aren't they feel that way. I have 20 good sized follies (over a centimeter) 3 just under a centimeter and a whole boatload of little ones. I am not in pain, I am just uncomfortable. Odd. Dr. S thought maybe 2 more days of stims and then trigger with ER on Tuesday. Is it Tuesday yet? That means that these things are gonna get bigger! Now I am glad that Derrick is not here and there can be no humping. I am pretty sure that my poor little body could not handle it. I was bummed, but now I think it is better.

He is on my shit list anyway. I called to tell him what they said this morning and he asked "So if there are that many, why did we have to do this? It sounds like we could have done it on our own." Pretty sure that 2 fucking years of trying on our own got us no where. In that two years I had 4 or 5 positive OPK's, I peed on them from CD5 sometimes through CD30. Even we did manage to get it done NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! He is borderline getting me pregnant. He doesn't understand that not only am I PCO, that we are still unexplained. I know I should be patient with him because of his penis stupidity, and everything else that is going on, but I don't see him getting poked and prodded. Even when I do ovulate (not often and not regular) my eggs could not be going through my tubes or they could not be getting fertlized or not implanting, or a million other things. Dr. S explained all of that to us. I guess I was the only one listening though. Derrick only heard what he wanted to hear. I love him but this is shitty for me and I kinda need him. I know with Grandpa SIpp in the hospital I should cut him some slack, but I don't feel like it.

On that note Grandps is not doing that bad but not that great. I am not sure how to explain to him that everything that is going on is very typical of Alzheimers patients. He is going to Salina tonight to do Grandp watch. There has to be a family member there at all times or I guess Gpa really gets aggitated. None of the other grandkids can "handle seeing it" so Derrick is going. Which is great and I am proud of him, but damnit no one really handles something like that well. Get the fuck over it. I know my SIL's I don't want there, but that is just me being protective. But there are like 6 other kids that are about Derrick and I's age that can help too. Gram is a worry wart and see has to have someone stay and make her eat and sleep. I know what is going to happen, I worked in hospitals with this and it is not pretty. He is still trying to pull out IV's and peeing all over. THe last two nights he thought the bed control was the combine control and got upset that the header wouldn't work. So I told Derrick that if he starts talking about farming and harvest and planting, talk about that. Go with anything he says. That way it keeps them from getting aggitated by someone disagreeing with them. I know this is really bothering Derrick, but I still need some support.

AHHH, I better try to write about Claude Wheeler now. I am trying to prove that he is not homosexual and instead he is a very sexual character. I think I have lost it.

This is my Friday at work.

Which makes me happy, but I have a ton to do. I hate planning for a sub. It is very timeconsuming. I have to drive through rush hour traffic in the morning to get the my us. My parents live 65 miles north of Denver and my appointment is at 9:15....I hate traffic. Then I am going home to work on papers for a bit. I am going to be on a shopping mission for curtains and decorations for my house. i can't believe this is getting closer. I am excited, nervous and everything. I know those are normal emotions. I also know I am jsut having a hard time right now because my family is fucking stupid. The more I think about the whole thing the more I get annoyed. I feel bad for her kids, not because she is a bad mom, because she isn't. Just because they are flat broke and her husband is a sexist asshole. He won't work at a place if his boss is a woman. So they are lazy and dumb. To top it all off my MIL emailed me yesterday to tell me that Derrick grandpa on his dad's side might have had a stroke. WHY NOW? He has Alzheimers but this sucks. I am ready to leave. I can't wait.

What a weekend!!

It was great, my parents came out and helped me do a whole bunch of stuff. I got my office/guest room all put together. My cat got mad at my mom for something and peed on her sheets though. Not sure what the deal is there. Then what is going to be the babies room had a ton of boxes in it with stuff. Mom and I went through everything and got rid of a ton of stuff. So that room is almost empty. I got so much done it is awesome. Then my mom told me that my cousin is pregnant with twin girls. I cried. So she has a 11 month old and no job, they live in tiny apartment. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am. I wanted twin girls. She gets to have the first this and the first that. She was the first one to get married, the first to have a boy, blah blah fucking blah. I don't care who is first at what. She is the one that made the big damn deal about it. She actually wrote my gram a letter trashing all of her family. Mostly me and Ashley. The oldest and youngest. We are the only the perfect kids and got everything and of course we are the favorites. What ever. Some of the shit I get to do first is because I am the oldest, comes with the territory. I swear the first time she bitches about this or if she dares to ask anyone in my family for money, write my gram another letter, or let her POS husband say anything to my Aunt Sharon, her and I (both my brothers and Ashley) are going to go rounds. Pretty much we are sick of her and want to beat her ass. To top it all of I was the last to know. I know my mom didn't tell me on purpose and I am glad that she didn't call and tell me. I probably would have lost it. She just rubs everything in and brags. That is why I want to slug her. She has not an ounce of sensitivity. Derrick decided that he doesn't want twins anymore. He doesn't want them to be compared to hers. I want to slug her. She just doesn't know how it happened. Ummm how stupid are you? Her sister is just as stupid. Pretty much my family other than my immediate fam is dumb.

On the other side. My fanny is bruised and hurts. Whoever said repronex is not bad LIED!!!!! It burns and hurts. The rest is alright. I have good sized follies and we are on a roll. I am ready to get this show started.

Not friends with my crock pot

SO I don't love the crock pot anymore. Derrick called last night when I was on my way home, and it went crazy. It was either set wrong or I don't know and the roast was dry and well done. The doggies had a good dinner and we had tuna helper. Boring. I let him give me my lupron too. OMG. How funny. I got it all ready and he decided that he wanted to do it. I ended up in the corner of the kitchen to get my shot, laughing. Of course I told him it hurt worse than when I do it, but it didn't. HEHE. He feels like a bystander and like all I need him for is his spermies. Well true, but I need him for more than that. He also decided last night to be a bed hog. I woke up almost on the floor. Silly boy. The freightshaker is out of the shop. Fantastic, and he started working again. Even more fantastic. It makes me so happy that he is doing something. He was about bored to death. Then he gets cranky. ADHD anyone? We don't have school Thursday and Friday this week. I do have a date with the "love wand" (thanks Wendy!!!) at 8:00 in the damn morning on Thursday. Well, good morning to you too. To make it better. My ultrasound tech is the mother of three of my students. One of them has graduated, and I have the other two now. It is a good thing that I love them. Otherwise it could be really awkward. Then bright and early Friday morning Derrick gets to be involved by poking me in the fanny with a needle. Ummmm....that one I am scared to death of. Getting over my fear enough to give myself a shot is one thing. That needle is little. The needle for the repronex is not so little. I am petrified. I know that is going to make it worse. I have had IM shots many times. Everytime I get sick and can't stop throwing up I have to have one. I hate it. The last one was after my shoulder surgery. Then my mom (who is a nurse) tells me to make sure he doesn't hit some nerve. I got light headed at the RE's office when they were teaching us how to do this. I know I am a tough chick and I know this is stupid fear, but it is real. I guess that I am going to get over it in a hurry though. Everyone always told me when you get pregnant you get over being afraid of needles. No one ever told me that getting pregnant would be when I got over my fear. I better get to work since I am going to be gone soon. I have to get ready for a sub, which is 10 times more work than being here. I hate having subs. It makes me crazy.

So I have been thinking

I know dangerous. I am afraid to be in my own head sometimes. But Wendy got me thinking. It is good though. I write everyday, more than once a day. I have been thinking about it since last summer. I love to write. I love to write everything. It can suck, and does right now since I have to do it for a grade and I feel pressured. In general I love it. I know I am not quite ready to give up teaching, but I bet after having a baby, that all changes. I also know that writing can be very up and down. Everyone thinks you will make a ton of money, which just isn't the truth. The percent the author makes actually kinda sucks. But that is not the sole reason to write. I want to do something that will enable me to be at home with my babies. Not that I have these babies yet, but I will and soon. Derrick got his dream of farming with Grandpa, why shouldn't I get mine? So what I am thinking is this, I finish my papers and submit them to different journals. I know journals are super picky, but it can't hurt anything. I have some of the best profs in their fields. Then I get my rear in gear and write my first book. I have ideas an rambling down already. I am writing about the Iraq war. I know it has been done, but not like this. I have had two brothers there for 2 1/2 years and one of my best friends. So....I am going to write from a sister's point of view and see where it goes. I got the idea from Edith Wharton. I hated the book, but just cause it was from a man's POV and it was not written the best. What do I know though, I am a lowly grad student. Anyway, HUGE thanks to Wendy for planting seeds in my lil' head.

I also need to vent badly. So I was a birthday party this weekend. My friends sister is PG, not married, guy is a LOSER! Her family suck, and it is amazing they have turned out half as normal as they are. So I find out that the sister has yet to quit totally smoking. I am fine with smokers, but you should not smoke when you are pg. I know this was a oops and all, but give the kid shot. She is also the one that wants my name. We don't see her that often so it doesn't matter. Then I got to thinking about some other things and they made me mad. Easily done with the hormones in my little bod. There is another couple, he used to be a very good friend, and now I think he is dumber than a box of rocks. They had two babies (took both of my names) got married then she LEFT and left her kids 2 months later. I was a good friend and she stopped talking to me. So five months later she comes back and expects everything to be peachy, well come to find out she is pg. Then he kicks her out, cause he is not sure it is his (she is a big fat whore). Three weeks later she is convieniently not pg anymore. HMMMMM..... They stay split up until two weeks ago. She moved back in and is playing fantastic mom. When she was there she never took very good care of them. They were always wet and things. Anyway, I have every right to hate her. I went out of my way to be her friend and she shit on me over and over. She made stuff up about my other friends and tried to turn us against each other. She did a good job until we figured it out and started talking to each other. So I think he is a dumb ass for taking her back and she is worthless for leaving her kids. I have every right to feel this way. Any woman does, but IF women especially. So Derrick told me I have to be nice. Polite, just because I will not ruin my name simply because she is a dumbass. Anyway, I am annoyed at the whole thing. I am sure that when she sees me she is going to try to talk to me. SInce I am super hormonal, that might not be such a fantastic idea. I would have died laughing if she would have shown up Saturday. Derrick thought it would have been funny if they would have come bowling with us all on Sunday. I think that it would have been bad. Me, Dez together, and Tash, we all hate her. She shit on all of us. Nothing like throwing her to the snakes. LOL. Anyway just had to get that off my chest. I don't understand how she can do that when all I want is to have babies. On the up side, I still look good and she looks like a crack whore hood rat. Oh wait, she is! I feel better.

I have decided that I am going to start eating like I am pg. SInce I am gonna be soon anyway ( I am being optimistic so it happens). That way my body is all adjusted to eating better. I put a yummy italian roast in the crock pot for supper. I love the crock pot. I have stuff to do at lunch so I will be here!!!

Monday, I hate Monday's. I never want to get out of bed. At least we have two days off this week. I was supposed to leave for Denver on Tuesday night, but my body sucks and I have to wait a week. Derrick is home in bed, and I want to be there too. We got up early yesterday and made breakfast, I wish we would have stayed in bed and then got up at 12:00 and made breakfast. Then we went bowling. It was fun. I am to tired to think right now. We are almost done with tryouts. I am wish I would have brought my laptop with me so I could get some things done while they are practicing. Oh well I will live. be back later.

After school I have to get a birthday present for a 3 year old. I have no idea what to get her. I can't call my friend and ask, cause I forgot my damn phone. GRRRRRR. It is about the time of day that I start feeling funny. Tomorrow is the last day of BCP bit I keep poking myself with lupron. It is not near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I really want to go home and go out to dinner with Derrick tonight. I have tryouts though. I hate them, they make me feel bad for the girls that don't get it. I am going to call him and see what the plan is from the school phone. I am really wishing that I had given myself tonight off. I will be home by 8:30, but I want to go there now. I want to have a date night that is a little romantic before I leave for Denver on the 14th. Pretty sure there will be no nookie from then till my beta, and when it is + until my first us. OH LORD. That could suck. Derrick still feels yucky, so I hope I can con him into nookie. I couldn't last night. I tried. Silly boy. I am not sure if my body is adjusting to the lupron or what, but today has been much better. Which is good. Yesterday afternoon, I could have heated every room in the building. LOL. Almost time to go!!!

Friday is here!!!

Friday is finally here. Yay! That means that I can sleep in tomorrow. I forgot my stupid cell phone on the counter today. That pisses me off. I feel like I am lost without it. GRRRRR. I bet I will live though. Derrick is still sick. I feel bad for him. But since he won't take any cold medicine or allergy medicine, he can't complain. I am going to try to talk him into staying at home tonight and watching movies and making dinner. I bet it doesn't happen, but I can try. The transmission in the Ford went out yesterday. It seems like we can't win right now. That is going to be high dollar. Then I want to get rid of it. Get something newer. I am tired of being broke and paying bills that are sky high. I hate writing checks to the dr, and the truck clinic people. It annoys me. I guess the guy that borrowed the semi and was driving it when the differential blew is going to pay for half of it. He should pay for all of it, but Derrick is too nice. I am ebaying a bunch of stuff this weekend to get it out of the house, because we dont' need it or use it, and we need the money. Maybe since all of these things that are happening are God's way of testing us before IVF. If that works I won't care about everything else. That will make me happier than anything.

It is strange how one thing can take over your life so completly. I never thought about it much before, but now I find it odd. I am going to finish my paper for Magical Realism this weekend. I have 1 1/2 pgs left and then I will turn it in. If she likes it I am going to submit it to a couple of journals and see what happens. I have another one to revise from a few years ago that I want to submit too, but I need to finish the ones that were for last summer. I started to read Little Women and I fell asleep. I am not sure if it was because I was exhausted or because I was bored. I am hoping it was because I was tired. I think I will write my paper on that book this summer. I know I am a huge geek. I am one of those book worm writers that everyone makes fun of. But I love both. Writing is so awesome and theraputic. Even if you never make any money from it, it helps me keep my thoughts in order and helps let out my feelings and pain. It also lets out my happiness and provides something for me to look back on. Kinda cool.

HOT FLASHES

Hot flashes, hot flashes...my mom says power surges. OMG! This sucks. I get hot easily anyway, and this is for the birds. Derrick is home sick. He has a nasty cold and his throat hurts. He is on antibiotics to make sure that he doesn't have an infection when we do IVF, so he doesn't have an infection, just allergies or a cold. He slept till 12 and he only does that when he has a hangover. Then he stayed on the couch til 2:00. I bet it is his allergies are acting up because he has been at the feedlots so much lately. Anyway, I am getting ready for cheerleading tryouts to start tonight. I cannot wait to be done. I am so glad that tomorrow is Friday. I am ready for the weekend. It is time. I ordered baby shower invites today. I know I am torturing myself. I claimed this shower as soon as I found out she was pregnant. I didn't get to throw her bridal shower, a very stuck up snobby girl did. I lived to far away for me to be her maid of honor. So I wanted to do this one. Melissa, the snobby girl, wants to help but I don't want her help. She made me feel like I was poor and couldn't do anything along with the rest of the bridesmaids at that shower. I don't want this shower to be that way. I want it to be fun. My bridal shower that Kimmy threw me was so much fun. I want her baby shower to be like that. Not all houghty toity. That is not us. We were and still are the girls that peed in the woods when we went camping, drove down the interstate with our bras out the window, and laughed until we could not breathe at nothing at all. We have been friends since the first day of 6th grade in art. That is like 16 years. So I am excited to do this for her. And it will be the 31st of March which is 4 days before my beta. So I will be PUPO. I know I am going to have to field the "when are you going to have a baby" question, but I can handle it. I am just going to say when it happens and change the subject back to Kimmy. Alright, I am going to get everything ready for my tryout meeting. I get to give my speech about drinking, drugs, and getting around. I love it.

Good day!!!

I feel like someone disconnected my brain from my body. Pretty sure lupron sucks. I knew that, but whoa. I had the worst hot flash of my life the last two nights. I am freezing most of the time now, but about 2 in the morning, I am dying of heat. DH just laughs at me. I don't think it is very damn funny. Oh well. Yesterday was pretty good. I had one kiddo final, she got 6th. I was very happy. I took a nap on the bus because of the dumb headache I had. The night before I had a little breakdown about giving myself a shot. I got it done, but it took awhile. It doesn't hurt, just wierd. Derrick is sick. He has a nasty head cold which makes him snore like there is no tomorrow. OMG I could hear him and he was on the couch kinda sitting up. I had the door kinda closed and the TV was on. Then he came to bed, not good. He also has the poops. Poor guy, I had them Sunday, and he has them. He was so mad yesterday. I hate both colds and the poops, but together, I feel bad for him. I made him eat yogurt, which he hates, but we were out of the runs medicine. Pretty sure that my students were terrible yesterday. Not all of them, but the few that are normally naughty. It makes me worry about leaving for IVF. Which makes me mad. I was in a great mood until I read the sub notes. I am still happy (I love my 1st period they are awesome). Cheerleading tryouts start tonight. We have two days this week, three next week, and then I will be here for two the next week. That makes me happy. I have to order invites to my best friends baby shower. I know I am nuts, but I am still going to throw it for her. She is awesome and so supportive. I could not ask for a better friend.