I suck I know!

Going back to work, being a mom, a wife, and trying to run a trucking company is the shits! Not literally, thank God! AHhhh where to start. I went back to work in August, and was fine for awhile, then the middle of September and I had meltdown. I am not handling being a working mom. I am doing better, but it sucks. I think the 2 hours of driving everyday is what kills me. I could be home those two hours with my kids. I like my job, of course there are the traditional fucktards that we have every year, but that passes. I am in the middle of helping to plan Prom...I didn't even help with that shit in high school, so this is a whole new experience for me.

Derrick is great, busy as hell. I feel like I only see him a few times a week. He is the morning parent and I am the night parent, what a way to be huh. Actually it sucks. I hate it. He is so damn busy, and every one wants something from him, he is stretched pretty thin. It makes for us being pretty snappy at each other. It was great during the ear infections and teeth. We could have killed each other. I miss being a family. He is dispatching now, I had a minor fit over the cattle thing and him missing bed time every night.

THe babies are fantastic. We are going through a sleep boycott phase. We want to play at 3 am. Last night I broke down and made them CIO. It wasn't as bad as it has been. But I went in like you are supposed to and they only cried for like 30 minutes. Before after 20 I was picking them up. Macie has two teeth, and I am pretty sure that Layne is going to get some here soon. I could have sworn they were on their way last weekend, but nope. She is being fussy and clingy. I am worried that we are on the verge of another ear infection. THey had one last month, so we went 7 months without one. I want a home otoscope to look before I haul them in.

You never forget that you are IF. I swear. I am scarred for life. In addition to the mess of my ovaries, parts in general. I am still bitter at women who oops get pg. I made a friend mad too. I don't care. Her sister has a baby from an oops. Well she is pg again and not with either dad. The second one was poking holes in condoms so he could trap her. He is fucked up, but b/c is a woman's problem. Call me liberal or whatever, but damnit, just because you have a uterus, does not mean that you should be a mother. Maybe that is conservative. I don't care. She is a good mom, but isn't sure she can handle this all alone. Well sweetie, you should have thought of that before you let him be in charge of bc. I think that makes me a bitch. Oh well, it happens. Kiss it.

I have to go and get shit done, my munchins are in bed. I might just go to bed. I am waiting on my pizza. D had to go to Hays and I made him get me a Lomatos. MMMMMMMMM