mumbo jumbo

I swear the next person that bitches about being pregnant is going to get slugged. If they don't want be pregnant, there are a million ways to prevent it. The next person that tells me I am young and I have my whole life to have kids is gonna get it too. PMS is talking big this week. I feel rotten, I want to go home and clean my house. I want my new house to be done. Oh and to top it all of my SIL calls to find out what the get my husband for Christmas. This is the same one that hates my guts. She is awful to me, until she needs something from me. Holidays there are so terrible. I have to hide who I am and not smack the shit out of her for being so nasty. I understand if she is jealous, but seriously. Yeah I have graduated college, got married, and started my master's, but I am 26 and she is 22. Some of that comes with age. Why be jealous of me? Or if she has to be, why treat me and everyone else around me like shit? It drives me nuts. It is a short drive right now. I am scared to death of so many things. IVF starts so soon. This was the last thing that was on my mind when we started the TTC thing. I was so sure that I would get pg so easy. 18 months later, nada. I don't even pee on things any more, it will never be positive with out help. I want to go home, curl up on the couch and watch TV with my hubby. No humping because of rag time. No humping this weekend, because we will be sharing a hotel room with friends. Unless the shower is an option.....Snowmobiling will make me feel better. I hope, I am not sure it can get worse. Well it can, but I pray it won't