Just when I think things are settling down and life maybe normal...I get smacked in the face. Derrick and I are fine, actually other than the meltdown on both sides last weekend we are really good. But those have to be expected from time to time.
Thing one....That is all I can call it. After conferences, all fucking day, on Friday my mom calls. Usually this is not such a big deal. She asks when I am planning on coming home next. That is an odd question. Well apperantly my Gram has decided that she is tired of life. Fabulous. I asked if I needed to come now. Mom said no and they were going to talk to her about Hospice or Pallative care. Great. Should I bash my head against the wall now or wait? My vote is now. So they chatted Saturday afternoon and Gram said she would think about it. What gets me is earlier this week she had all of this stuff to ask her oncologist. She wanted to know if she behaved if she could go home and live a sorta normal life. Her tastes are starting to come back, but since she hasn't eaten is so long her tummy is the size of a pea. That and the malnutrition has made her a little demented. Just at times. I told mom that no matter what I want to talk to her today. I don't care. I will be pissed if I don't get to. On the way home Friday I cried of course. I have this sinking feeling that we are going to have to do this whole thing before Christmas. Definitly before the babies are here. I am tough, but I really don't think I am that tough. I used to think so. Right now I am not. I know many things. One, if and when it comes to that getting me outta the hospital probably won't be possible. I don't plan on not being there. I am stubborn enough that my family won't get me to leave. I don't care who else is there, I am just not leaving. Two, this is going to be a disaster. My family is nuts. I mean everything is a competition, literally. Who gets married first, has babies first, graduates first, has the biggest this, does this or does that. Not little, but huge blown outta proportion stuff. It is actually pretty nuts. If there is not a crisis they can create on in a heartbeat. The largest problem is that my two cousins and their dad think the world should be handed to them on a silver platter. So I can pretty much assume that those two will blow everything way out of proportion. And no one's grief will be worse than theirs. This is what I have to say to that. Then be there now. You live right there, show up once or twice a week and be there. Don't just stop to say hi, spend some time. I am so glad that through this whole thing I have gotten quite a bit on Dana and Gram time. Hours of it actually. I am thankful for that. There is nothing more that I would like to do than go there and sit and talk to her. I have gotten to do that quite a bit throughout my life and I am so glad. Anyway, it will be major drama, and I can't handle that. I am not sure I can keep my mouth shut. I will try. I am hoping that when I go home in two weeks that her and I can have some time to chat. I have some things to tell her.
Thing 2....Douchebag is back. He bought a house, they just have to wait for the guy to get out of it. He has also bought two 379 flat top Pete's. Wen...btw totally a Pete driver thing. It is nuts. They are nice don't get me wrong, but really that much for something right of the bat....whatever it is not my money. He actually told Derrick that he doesn't care if I help Derrick, but he isn't going to let me tell him what to do. Fine, I will tell Derrick and when you don't get your shit to me, it fucks you.
Thing 3...both Derrick and I are stressed about getting this corp up and running. I talked to the lawyer and paperwork should be here soon. We have to go to some KCC safety class in the morning. But it is in Garden and there is an Applebee's and Target there. Totally pumped for that. Not happy that we have to leave at 6 am. GRRRR. I will be even grumpier if DB comes with. I want to do some baby stuff and he doesn't need to be part of that so he can go and run his mouth all over town. Oh wait his stupid ass sister does that.
Very proud of myself the bitch that hit on Derrick was working last night when we went out to dinner. I didn't yell at her or say anything. If she said something to me I was short and bitchy about it. We had fun and were home by 8:45. Watched a little of the Rockies get spanked again.
Today has been slightly productive. I have things organized to go into storage from the nursery. That way the room will be empty for the hunters next weekend and when we have relatives over thanksgiving. I got my hair cut yesterday and managed to keep most of it considering the stress. Last year after finding out how infertile I was I chopped off like 4 inches. I am proud of myself. Alright I am gonna do some other stuff.
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