My Broncos lost...and that just started the bad day!

So pretty sure things on the Gram front are shitty. I know she is stubborn and impatient, but damnit. Right now is not the time. She is going to a nursing home, which pisses me off anyway, but it is because she refuses to eat. She wants to go home, but can't because she won't fucking eat. I asked my mom if she understood that this disease could kill her. She said she did, but she doesn't seem to understand the chemo and radiation helped. She is tired of everything tasting bad and having no control. Well guess what, starving to death is going to suck. I am ticked because I can't go up there and shake the shit outta her. I am four hours away and feel guilty. I am also terrified that she is not going to be here anymore. She is probably not going to be here long enough to see my babies, and that is really hard. I was talking to Derrick and I told him I knew that was selfish of me, but he told me is wasn't. He said she is behaving a little selfish. My whole family has always made up a crisis when they feel like it, now we actually have a very serious situation and no one but Mom, Dad, the boys, Derrick and I seem to get that. This is not the usual molehill, this is serious shit. I know that parts of my family just can't handle it, and you know what, I really don't want to either. But guess what, I have too. I am scared that I am going to get that call and I won't have seen her. I can say this is not fair, but cancer is never fair. So I am not going to sit on my pity pot, the rest of my family is doing enough of that for everyone. I am just frustrated and really want to go home and sit in that room and talk to her.

On my home front, it was supposed to rain today, and we got like 5 drops. We have another calf, with it's mommy this time up by the house. That cow is MEAN!!! I went to give the calf a shot and the cow grunted and pawed the ground. The calf is not as cute as Missy Moo, but she is pretty cute. Derrick told me yesterday that he think Missy knows she is a cow. So this morning him and Gramps were feeding the calf with the cow in the chute and I went to see. Well Missy has not clue one she is a cow. She stood next to me and tried to eat and lick my pants, shirt, sucked on my fingers, head butted my legs. I told Derrick she still thinks I am mom. She is such a dolly. Then I went to leave and she chased me and mooed at me. He told me I could have her and decide what we do with her. She is going to get Bangs next spring and we are keeping her.

I spent all day cleaning house. I did pretty good too for the most part. This week I have projects to clean the office up and get stuff filed. It is still a mess. I got Derrick to hang some pictures up and measure for curtains for the living room. We need them badly. I have a three day weekend at the end of the month and I wanted to go to Wichita, but now I am going to go home. My brother got a doggie, a 19 month German Shepherd. Her name is Chaser. I guess the other doggies were pretty dominering of her so she is at my parents now. Dad said she is tall and lanky, unlike my petite Beanster and the fatso Lily. Speaking of animals, we have inherited the two kitties the Rose brought home. They like me better I guess, and my husband can't figure out why all strays come to me. It is my nature I guess. I better go make some dinner and feed Missy Moo.