Feeling a little insecure

AHHH the joys of being a student. Really for the most part I like it. I am just tired. I feel a little overwhelmed right now and I am sure the lupron is not helping anything. I want to go home and be with my honey, but we cannot afford the gas to do that daily. So one more night and I will be at home with him for one night this week. They should be about ready to cut wheat. That means a BIG paycheck for us. WAHOOO!!! We may be able to pay half of the FET out of pocket. I am tired of being broke.

Funny story yesterday. Derrick called last night and was telling me about his day, by the way, the man has the worst luck sometimes. He was at the feedlot unloading hay and went to jump over a urine/poo puddle that they have in places. He said it was not that big and it looked solid. As he went to plant his foot it was not solid and he face planted in the smelly puddle. He had to go to walmart in Colby and get different clothes. OMG I was laughing really hard.

Speaking of him, I am not sure if I am just feeling insecure again or what, but I am feeling a little left out of his life. I know I am away, but when I am home it seems like he doesn't care. I am sure this is all the meds talking and my feelings of inadequacy since once again, damn near everyone around me is getting knocked up. His one friend is really testing me again. Like he is expecting way to much from Derrick and it is almost like a pulling match. This same friend and I have gone at it several times because of the way he behaves. I don't know if Derrick is freaking out about everything too or if he is depressed. Well, I think that might have something to do with it. He actually said something like that the other day. I am a little worried. His behavior is wierd and I don't like it. Something is up. I know this time of year is always bad for him, but still. I am trying my best not to be a cranky bitch or cry, but I am finding it hard sometimes. I am ready for the FET to be here and to be pg. I know he loves me more than anything and we are the perfect pair, we are just going through a moment. I think I am going to see if we can do something just us next weekend, no friends, no anything, just the two of us. Nothing that involves the RE or anything else. We need a break from life. I don't care if it means we haul cattle for a day together. I just want to hang out with him.