I have a giant urge to shop.

I must contain it. I am in a great mood. I am done with basketball, all I have to do now is get through cheerleading tryouts and I am done. WAHOO! Speech season is over tomorrow, providing that no one makes it to state. Which I am pretty sure is not going to happen. Normally that would bum me out, but right now I don't care. I am ready to have my life back. I do still have to do the spring play. We are doing a short version of Taming of the Shrew. 5 weeks and we will be done with it. Summer is right around the corner. I can't wait. I started reading for classes last night on the way to the game. I have a bunch to read, and papers to finish from last summer. I am taking my laptop to speech tomorrow to finish my one assignment for my teaching class. Then maybe I can finish my one paper that is so close. I think I might order some stuff from Old Navy and some cute shoes ( I need more shoes like I need a hole in the head). I need stuff for my walls too. DH will most likely be home early too tonight, so i might try to talk him into taking me out to dinner. Chinese sounds really good. Or I can make something yummy. I don't care. Movie and nookie night at my house! YAY!

I was right, Monday's suck

So why does it seem that no matter how hard I try I am just not doing a good job? I love to teach, but recently it seems like I am babysitting more than I am teaching. When did kids become so unmotivated? They don't want to do anything at all. It is like pulling teeth to get them to do a worksheet or read even a sentence. Holy cow! I feel like it is my job to motivate them, and some of them are just not going to be motivated. Grade don't do it, their parents, teachers, punishment, not even rewards. I would have done anything for a teacher that gave us treats. But now they don't care. My goodness. Am I in the wrong profession, or am I just at the wrong level? I know I want to teach at the college level, but there has to be an opening. Maybe I should go to the middle school level. At least there they still want to try. They still like to learn and want to. By the time I get them, they are done learning, and don't really seem to care. It is frustrating. I was in a great mood this morning. Happy, ready to have fun, and bam, smartasses. The one that I totally blew up on on Friday will not be in my class today, and that thrills me. I won't have to deal with him. Thank GOD!!! 8 more days until a four day weekend. I am going to take my laptop in the truck and get some papers written!

Mondays are no fun.

I slept for like 19 hours yesterday. I had a migraine and felt like crap. So I took some meds and slept. Then I wake up in the middle of the night and spend the rest of the night off and on in the bathroom. It sucked. I still feel all gassy. Yuck. I got plenty of sleep though and am in a pretty good mood. I would be in a way better mood if we didn't have district basketball tonight. This is most likely our last game. Then I have speech on Wednesday and tryouts Thursday through Wednesday. At least next week we have a four day weekend. I love that. I am going to ride with my honey for a couple of days and spend quality time. Other than that there is really nothing going on here. I start Lupron tomorrow. Yay!! That means that we are closer and closer to being KUed!!

So if I get fired I have no idea what I am going to do.

I lost it. I have never lost it before. My buttons just got pushed until I could not handle it. Instead of leaving the room, I lost it and screamed at a kid. OMG...what in the hell was I thinking? I went and talked to the guidance guy and we are going to have a meeting with this student. To top it all off I can't even go and tell my boss because he is in a meeting. I have yelled more this period and at this kid than I ever had before. I am going to go home and sit down and cry. Derrick will be home tonight about 10:30 or 11. All of the other runs got cancelled because of the storm that is coming. So we will be home tonight watching movies on the couch and having some nookie. AF was really long this time and I have been spotting for the last week. He will not touch me under those circumstances. What a wuss. Anyway, I might write more later. I just can't handle this right now. I need a break. I am on the verge of tears right now.

TGIF and not a thing to do this weekend.

This is the first weekend in many moons that I do not have a speech meet or basketball game that I have to be at. Which make me so happy. I am totally burnt out right now and have been since September. Which is very odd for me. I usually have a ton of energy but I think everything that has happened in the last year has really taken a toll on me. I have big plans to sleep until I can't sleep anymore, then lay on the couch. I am going to get groceries after school and then I am going home to buckle down. We are supposed to get another big storm this weekend. The snow is finally melting from the ones in December and January. So Derrick and I may be stuck in our house for the whole weekend. That means nothing to do but snuggle. He has been hauling cows for two weeks and I think it is for the damn birds. They don't let them know what is going on until the unload, and then they could send them on a wild goose chase. He might have to go to Oklahoma to get some cows and then to Yuma, CO. So that would mean that he would not be home at all tonight. If the storm starts to blow like they say it will, he can't come back with an empty bull rack. I will be so pissed. I hope that it is just the one run today and he can come home at a decent time tonight. I am in need of some honey time. The 2 hours I have seen him this week sucks. I found the yummiest candles yesterday and I am going to get them today. That way I have candles in case the power goes out. We have a generator, but still. My BCP is still kicking my ass. I feel like crap, my tummy get upset after I take it and lord I am gassy. 8 more days of it. It is Friday and I have to come up with something good to eat that does not involve meat. I gave up pop for lent and in may kill me yet. I was going to have to give it up when I got pg, so this is a good start. And I am drinking way more water. Alright I am off to interact with my kids.

Check me out today!!!

I look hot today!!! Can you tell I got up 15 minutes before I had to leave? It made my day fabulous. Derrick called to say that he might go and get a load of cattle from OK and take them to CO. So that means that he may not be home tonight. I have news for him if he thinks that he is going to do that and get boys night on Saturday. I don't think so. I have to go and help a firend move. Then to the home front I go bravely with my neato pickup that is 2 wheel drive. My car is finally in the body shop from the deer. YAY I will have a mirror!!! So when I get home it is fried bread and noodles for me and a bath and then bed...or nookie...oh wait that means Derrick has to be home. HAHA

Boys are dumb.

So Derrick won tickets to this boxing thing this weekend and then he tells me that Saturday will be boys night out. I am ususally alright with that, but I haven't seen him for more than like 1 hour since he started hauling cattle. My parents are going to be here this weekend, and I am kinda feeling like he wants to avoid them and me. Then he wants to play cards tonight. I feel like I am unimportant and he doesn't want to spend anytime with me. I don't want to play cards I want to make dinner, and watch a movie. He got home at 10:30 last night and I didn't see him at all the night before or Saturday or Sunday. This sucks. I am glad that he is working but they never really tell him when he is going to be done for the day and it puts many kinks in my plans. I am agrivated greatly right now. I would love to blame it on the meds, but I don't think that is all of it. I think a whole lot of it has to do with my job. I love to teach, but I need to be in a place that is stable. I need an attitude adjustment. I know that being at my moms will be good for me. It will give me a new perspective on things and a much needed break.