Here we go again....

I am tired, yes mostly because I am months pregnant, but for other reasons as well. Derrick went out last night which was fine, but when he got home at 3 or so this morning shit hit the fan again. He accused me of cheating on him, asked me when the last time something happened with dude, to which I said, I don't know whenever the lake thing was...it turned into a disaster. He slept on the couch, and I really didn't sleep. I don't know what to do or who to talk to. He needs to talk to someone cause he is making this up in his mind and I am sick of it. I have not done anything wrong, I am here day in and day out. I help him with the trucking stuff, try to be a good wife, try to be alright when he goes out, the list goes on. Now it is almost 10 on Sunday, he is in bed I think. I am avoiding wherever he is. He smells like a vodka bottle. I have some papers to grade and enter and some outlines to do for my sub. We were supposed to spend the day together and get crib mattresses put stuff in storage and just hang out. I am not sure I want to now. I don't know what I want to do. I have to take care of myself for my babies, so I will. I am emotionally a basketcase and exhausted. My eyes hurt from crying. I know that he is not just going to get over it, but come on...I am here 24-7 unless I am at the Dr. This seems to happen every time he gets drunk. I am tired of it. I have not done anything, I am trying my ass off to be a good wife...but somewhere I missed the mark and turned into something else.