Not really sure how to respond to this one....

As I have said before my family is crazy. Sometimes not in a good way. This particular branch of my family (my uncle and his two daughters) are rather selfish, Sara is much better than Kim, but still. Anyway, both of my cousins have kids, Sara has a 3 year old and Kim has a 20 month old and 6 month old twins. Yeah she couldn't figure out the BC thing and obviously got the working ovaries. Anyway...Both of them have husbands that are fairly worthless. Kim's is not quite as worthless, but almost. When we were being tested and going through everything last year, Sara was really pretty sweet about it and fairly supportive. Kim, just acted like I was a mutant and had the plague and she might catch it. Not sure if it was the IF thing or her personal jealousy of things outside of the ability to have babies. Anyway she has been very bitter towards me for reasons unknown, take that back, I know...I am the oldest and always get everything I want and am totally spoiled. Okay first, obviously I don't always get what I want since I certainly did not want to be infertile. Some of the things I get are simply because I work my ass off for them. Like my education, my job, a nice home...it goes on. At some point after my wedding (which she was in) she stopped talking to me, unless it was a holiday and had to. Which sucked because we used to be pretty close. The last two years of her being pg and me not have probably taken a huge toll on our relationship. I am willing to admit that I had a very hard time with that whole thing. For a long time neither one of them were working. I have not clue one how they were doing it, but they were. I am not sure Shane went back to work until they found out about the girls. But again, she was not speaking to me so I don't know. I had a hard time with it...it happens. Actually most of my family has a hard time with the fact that they are both fairly lazy and he doesn't do a good job of taking care of her or the kids. We are fiercly protective like that. The other thing I had a hard time with was the letter she wrote to Gram. The letter was terrible, and blamed everyone, including my Gram, for everything that was wrong in her life. I saw it. Gram and I really didn't have secrets...one of the many benefits of spending so much time with her. I was pissed. That pretty much sealed the deal on ever having a relationship again. But because I am trying to be the bigger person, and my mom threatened me, I am trying. Her kids are adorable. I promise all of this rambling has a point and I am going somewhere. She told my mom awhile ago that she had all of these tips to help me out, and I am sure that she does. I know she really wants to be the expert on something, and she thinks this is it. I am going to let her think that. Like I told my mom and Derrick, this is not my first rodeo being around twins, and it is certainly not my mom's...my big questions are going to go to her. I think she did a fantastic job with the boys, and I was old enough to remember a good part of it. Anyway, I get an email this morning from my cousin. She has not really spoken to me since my wedding, except for a little last Christmas and some at Grams funeral. Here it is...

Hey there Dana,

How's things going for you? Good I hope. I'm sorry you're on bed rest. That has to be the worst thing in the world. I'd give you a call, but the kids are keeping me so busy right now, I'm lucky if I get to shower every other day. Gross I know, but by the time bedtime rolls around for the girls (11 o'clock) I'm so tired I don't care to shower. (It's 11:22 pm right now). I told your mom about a couple books that have been life savers for me. If you want I can get you the titles and authors and what not. I've got all kinds of hints and tips and tricks that have helped me out, I just don't know how much help you want. Let me know.
I do want to let you know a couple important things though. First, you will not get much sleep the first month, it might be hard to keep a temper down, especially when you can't get the kids to stop crying, if you feel that your temper is going to boil over, leave them in their cribs/bassinettes, whatever, leave them safe for a few and go and cool off. Trust me, most of the time you'll be able to handle 12 straight hours of crying (hopefully that won't happen..) but there might be an odd day or two in there that you won't be able to handle ANYTHING. If you can recognize that your day is not going to be a good one, get help, you will so appreciate even an hour of someone watching your kids so you can have a nap. And do for the first month, nap when they do, let the house get dirty, you will need your sleep.
The most important thing though is to cuddle and spend as much time with them the first 6 months as you can, because once they start moving and wanting to be playing on the floor, they tend to be like cats, they want attention when they want it, not when you want to give it. They will grow up fast, the months will fly by with you being so busy. Take lots of pictures and video of them, they do really change every day. Record everything that you can. It will be worth it!!
Anyways, those are the two biggest things I wish someone would have told me!! Parenthood is a cinch, don't let anyone tell you differently, or scare you. Twins are not harder than having one baby, they just take a little more of your time. You will love being a mom. I do!! NOTHING in the whole world is better, or more fun!!
I'll try to write again as soon as I can. Sooner than later.
Love you lots and hope to hear from you soon.

Kim

Now, I totally understand thatt she is trying with me, and I should try back...but I am just not sure I am ready for it. I have taken a pretty good beating over the years for things that are not my fault but end up being seen that way. Most of me was totally shocked that I even got this. Derrick told me to ask her if she had figured out how to work and raise a family, or her husband had. He is totally not a fan...at family stuff it is him that hangs out with my family and is totally part of it, and the other two husbands that are not, or just don't come. Derrick is not always there, but he is there for me when I need him, and if he is not there, it is because he is working, new concept to some. I am not scared of being a mom or being a mom to twins, that is Derrick he is the one that has moments of sheer terror about having two at once. His friends do not help. This is just my vent...I have to try. I do think it would be cool for our babies to know each other, they are not going to be that far apart. I also know that my Gram would want it that way. I guess part of this is that I still have a hard time with people that are super fertile...I always will. I know it is petty, but hey it happens. I just have to stop being bitter at her for being fertile and for the things that she has said about me, but never to me...