I guess I just always assumed that by the time I was 27 we would have at least one baby and maybe be working on 2. Instead I am going through hell and have gone through hell to even get there. Recap real quick, since I was 18 I have had severe cervial dysplasia, one colposcope to diagnosis it, a freeze that made it worse, and a laser of 60 % of mycervix. Which has healed nicely 7 years later. Never had a regular period in all my life. Oh didn't start till I was damn near 15. See a pattern here? Went on BCP to make them regular, got really anemic went to 4 periods a year, major pelvic pain, no more BCP and a lap at 25. Mild endo and aednomeiosis(whatever that is). Ob says get PG now or you are going to have a hard time...2 years later no baby. August of 06 DH gets tested cause that is the next logical step, low count, second test still low, third better count shity morph. Seriously can we get a break. Find out the best clinic in the country is in Denver, great since I am from Loveland and it is an hour away. But we live in freaking Kansas. So three hours, no biggie. More blood, ultrasounds, invasive exams. Hey you have PCO! Great now we know what is wrong, and we can try IUI, but it probably won't work. DH's next sample was bad too, so ICSI here we come. Wait there was a blizzard in December and we couldn't get to our appt. So we wait another month. Perfect cycle. The one thing that my body does right is produce eggs and lots of them. Great lining, great eggs, great fert. Transfer one. Get pg, low progesterone level. Lose pg at 5 weeks exactally. For real. This is unreal to me. Then I find out this week that we have a 7th, yes a 7th grader that is knocked up. OMG I didn't want to think about sex then. I was barely french kissing. Oh and we have a 10th grader pregnant. Since we don't teach sex ed, I see why, but why them? Why not me? It is not fair and it sucks. On the up side I love my RE he is wonderful and very caring. Derrick is great most of the time. I just think he is not sure how to deal with all of this and gets overwhelmed easy. Me, I do everything under the damn sun and run myself ragged.
Tomorrow is my birthday YAY! Can I be 21 forever? I liked that age. It was fun. I am tired of dreading the mail because of medical bills. I better get flowers that is all there is to it.
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