Is it 5:00 yet?

So I had my labs drawn this morning, and come to find out, they have to be sent to North Platte. So the results won't get back until early evening. I so wish that I would have stayed an gone to the RE this morning or called in sick and gone to Colby. I know they can run a BETA there on site. So I am mad at myself. I am tired of waiting. Derrick is getting loaded somewhere east of Wichita and then on his way back to Hoxie. So he will be home tonight. I made him call me every hour last night to make sure he was alright while he was driving the four hours east from Dodge. I could not sleep, mostly cause I was worried about him falling asleep and that I am excited, scared, nervous about my results. My friend from school wants me to call her today no matter what, but I don't think I can. I love her to death, but I know what she is going to say and it involves this being God's will and it will happen in time. I cannot hear that from anyone. I told Kim yesterday when she asked me if I would be alright if it was negative, "No, but I have to be. I will have to pick myself up and keep going. I have to make myself alright." I also told her that there was no way I can talk to Heid. I love her, but she can be very judgmental and thinks she understands and she has no idea. I have to call my mom and Derrick's mom. We have orders to call my MIL. I am going to be nutso before the day is over.