When it rains it pours...

I am working on being a better person and acceptance. I am doing pretty good so far. The hardest thing is to let go of things I have been holding onto for years. I am trying though. This week of course has sucked bad. Yesterday was one of the worst. I had someone tell me, after I asked them to stop, that a former student was pg. Not married, not ready, etc. I actually said stop don't tell me anything to this person when she said "guess who is pg!" Do people not understand the concept of no, don't. I walked down the hall crying. WTF! As the day went on I was better. Then I get home, and get the mail. There is something from my aunt, I think it is an Easter card so I open it, oh no not a card!!! My cousin's baby shower invite. She is having twins and has a one year old. I sat on the kitchen floor and lost it. I can't go anyway cause that is performance weekend. I couldn't anyway, cause I am in no way emotionally or mentally ready for something like that. My family is crazy and I am afraid that if I don't go, I will hear how selfish I am and I should be happy for her and blah blah blah. No one even knows what is going on with me, which is fine. I don't want them to. I don't want them to feel sorry for me, or pretend to and then act like they are better than me. That is how they are. I have done pretty good at accepting that, I am just not going to be part of it.

We are in a winter storm warning. It is April. We are supposed to get a foot of snow. I told Derrick to get the generator out just in case. If is snows it better do a good job so school get cancelled. I would love to stay home with DH and snuggle. Or write! I have a ton of ideas (got them trying to go to sleep). AF is letting up. Which is good, I am about tired of it. I get my blood drawn today, and I hope it has gone to 0. That way I know we are done with that phase of my life. The truck should be out of the shop today, and I hope they get some stuff done before more moisture. Maybe next week DH can move cows. We need to get in the fields and spray and work ground, Oh but it is to wet or windy. To wet is not a problem if we are going to keep getting it, but I hate the wind.