So I have been thinking

I know dangerous. I am afraid to be in my own head sometimes. But Wendy got me thinking. It is good though. I write everyday, more than once a day. I have been thinking about it since last summer. I love to write. I love to write everything. It can suck, and does right now since I have to do it for a grade and I feel pressured. In general I love it. I know I am not quite ready to give up teaching, but I bet after having a baby, that all changes. I also know that writing can be very up and down. Everyone thinks you will make a ton of money, which just isn't the truth. The percent the author makes actually kinda sucks. But that is not the sole reason to write. I want to do something that will enable me to be at home with my babies. Not that I have these babies yet, but I will and soon. Derrick got his dream of farming with Grandpa, why shouldn't I get mine? So what I am thinking is this, I finish my papers and submit them to different journals. I know journals are super picky, but it can't hurt anything. I have some of the best profs in their fields. Then I get my rear in gear and write my first book. I have ideas an rambling down already. I am writing about the Iraq war. I know it has been done, but not like this. I have had two brothers there for 2 1/2 years and one of my best friends. So....I am going to write from a sister's point of view and see where it goes. I got the idea from Edith Wharton. I hated the book, but just cause it was from a man's POV and it was not written the best. What do I know though, I am a lowly grad student. Anyway, HUGE thanks to Wendy for planting seeds in my lil' head.

I also need to vent badly. So I was a birthday party this weekend. My friends sister is PG, not married, guy is a LOSER! Her family suck, and it is amazing they have turned out half as normal as they are. So I find out that the sister has yet to quit totally smoking. I am fine with smokers, but you should not smoke when you are pg. I know this was a oops and all, but give the kid shot. She is also the one that wants my name. We don't see her that often so it doesn't matter. Then I got to thinking about some other things and they made me mad. Easily done with the hormones in my little bod. There is another couple, he used to be a very good friend, and now I think he is dumber than a box of rocks. They had two babies (took both of my names) got married then she LEFT and left her kids 2 months later. I was a good friend and she stopped talking to me. So five months later she comes back and expects everything to be peachy, well come to find out she is pg. Then he kicks her out, cause he is not sure it is his (she is a big fat whore). Three weeks later she is convieniently not pg anymore. HMMMMM..... They stay split up until two weeks ago. She moved back in and is playing fantastic mom. When she was there she never took very good care of them. They were always wet and things. Anyway, I have every right to hate her. I went out of my way to be her friend and she shit on me over and over. She made stuff up about my other friends and tried to turn us against each other. She did a good job until we figured it out and started talking to each other. So I think he is a dumb ass for taking her back and she is worthless for leaving her kids. I have every right to feel this way. Any woman does, but IF women especially. So Derrick told me I have to be nice. Polite, just because I will not ruin my name simply because she is a dumbass. Anyway, I am annoyed at the whole thing. I am sure that when she sees me she is going to try to talk to me. SInce I am super hormonal, that might not be such a fantastic idea. I would have died laughing if she would have shown up Saturday. Derrick thought it would have been funny if they would have come bowling with us all on Sunday. I think that it would have been bad. Me, Dez together, and Tash, we all hate her. She shit on all of us. Nothing like throwing her to the snakes. LOL. Anyway just had to get that off my chest. I don't understand how she can do that when all I want is to have babies. On the up side, I still look good and she looks like a crack whore hood rat. Oh wait, she is! I feel better.

I have decided that I am going to start eating like I am pg. SInce I am gonna be soon anyway ( I am being optimistic so it happens). That way my body is all adjusted to eating better. I put a yummy italian roast in the crock pot for supper. I love the crock pot. I have stuff to do at lunch so I will be here!!!