So many things to be mad at/sick of...

The list is HUGE. Let's start with money. I am tired of working my ass off for damn near nothing. So I knew when I decided to become a teacher that I would not make much, but seriously. I also knew that marrying a farmer would be tough, but this tough, I had no clue. I love him very much. I will and have always stood beside him no matter what but the man has got to go back to work. I understand that hauling hay is impossible with this weather, but he has a friend that told him to come and work for him. So this is how this works, he doesn't want to do construction again. Sometimes you have to pick shit with the chickens. I do a bunch of things that I don't want to do. So I told him to call my friend's dad that owns a trucking company. At least then some money would be coming in. He wants to sell the Harley. I understand that we REALLY need some money. Especially since we have to pay up front for IVF in a very short amount of time, but I love that bike. So we are selling the boat, his dirt bike, we sold my horse and most likely the hot tub. We never use the dumb thing anyway, so I am going to sell it. If we want one later great we can get one. So that will help us out a little. I am tired of money going out and not coming in. Then he keeps acting like he does not want to do this IVF right now. I am not waiting. Period. We planned this. I know my choices are baby or the Harley. I hate that, but I am choosing a baby. I am also tired of the attitude that I am getting from home. I am tired of getting my head ripped off every time I say anything. I call and he is cranky everything makes him cranky. I am trying to do everything right and all he can do it bitch. Oh but he can bitch at me and about me, but it is not supposed to be a two way street. If I have to tighten my belt money wise and everything else, so does he. I have no energy. I am taxed out all over the place. I want to go home and sleep, but I can't freaking sleep. My mind has way too much on it.